Toasts are usually given at the wedding reception. There are many kinds of toasts. There are toasts from the groom to the bride, from the bride to the groom. From the best man to the groom, from the groom to the best man, from the maid of honor to the bride, from the father to the bride, and so on. Toasts are fun. They’re the best part of the wedding for some people.

Let me level with you. It can be tough to give a toast. Some people just wing it, and give a toast off the top of their heads. But most people are far too conscientious to take such a flippant attitude toward this responsibility. Most want to do a good job. Well, I don’t have any good long toasts for you in this article, but I do have some funny lines you could work in.

You might need to do a longer toast than what you’ll find here, but here are some great one-liners, just to get you started.

1. Marrying is all about just obtaining a piece of paper. Divorcing is just obtaining another ~Celeste Tan

2. Getting married for sex is like buying a meal for the free mint.

3. Want to remember your wife’s birthday. Forget it once, and you should have no trouble remembering the next time.

4. What would it be like to live in a world without men? There’d be no crime, and a lot of happy fat women.

5. If you see a man open the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car . . . or a new wife.

6. Marriage is like a phone call when you’ve been sleeping. First there’s the ring. And then you wake up. -Evelyn Hendrickson

7. There are three rings to marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.

Good luck with your wedding toast. We hope we took the edge off, and put a smile on your face.

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