November 9, 2007
Marriage Part 2: Proper Second Wedding Etiquette
by Garnett Foards
These days, second weddings are commonplace. The trend of second and even third marriages is so commonplace that specialized etiquette rules have been established. Of course, you can use your own judgement, as modern weddings are dropping outdated traditions very frequently. There are several points to consider, including the reactions or feelings of former spouses.
Sharing the Good News:
It’s important to consider the feelings of your former spouse when announcing your upcoming wedding. Have the courtesy to tell him or her in person, rather than risk the chance of your former spouse hearing the news as gossip. If you have a cordial relationship, tell your ex-spouse over coffee or dinner. If the relationship is less friendly, a formal phone call will suffice. You may have a friendly relationship with your former in-laws, and they should be offered the same sort of courtesy.
Children of the former couple must always be informed of the parent’s decision to remarry. If the children are likely to protest, they should still be included in the plans and informed in a timely fashion. Even adult children may need time to adjust to the truths of a new marriage and accept the new step parent.
That’s why second wedding etiquette dictates that the children be informed of the engagement as soon as possible. If you and your new partner share a healthy relationship with your children, they will respect your wishes and support your union.
Finer Points Of The Wedding:
If you have already been married once before, the process of the second wedding will be easier to handle. You and your future spouse should remember that a second wedding is typically a smaller affair involving family and a few close friends. It is considered impolite to ask your former spouse to attend, but if you enjoy a friendly relationship you may feel free to do so.
It’s important to have an open discussion regarding the budget for your wedding. Expenses are usually shared, and questions about who will pay for what should be settled privately between you and your future spouse.
Many second weddings are celebrated out of town. This may be due to a higher disposable income allowing the couple the luxury of holding the wedding in an exotic location. As in a first marriage, consider the expenses of guests that will be asked to attend your wedding. Not everyone has the means to pay for travel, hotel, and other expenses.
Where to Hold Your Second Wedding:
The most important rule of planning the location for your second wedding is to be sure it’s not a spot that holds emotional ties to any past unions. A second wedding is a particularly emotional time, and either partner can have unspoken uncertainties about past marriages. Working together, mutually choose a location and theme for both the ceremony and the reception. When you’ve agreed, you may then share the news with your friends and family.
The couple as a courtesy should also provide for the transportation of everyone. It is allowed to inquire beforehand who will bring a car so that the number of rented automobiles can be estimated. Doing so would save the couple cash and time.
What to Wear?
Despite what you may have heard, it is entirely acceptable for a bride to wear a white dress on the occasion of her second wedding, and the groom and groomsmen may wear traditional tuxedos. According to second wedding etiquette, the color palettes are the same as those that are appropriate for first unions.
Becoming a Family, Again:
Not all second weddings are about creating new families. The second wedding etiquette can be employed to celebrate a renewal of vows to each other. This is usually done to mark a marriage’s milestone like the 25th year or the 50th year anniversary.
This type of wedding is typically more private and intimate than the first wedding, and often more joyous. Reaffirming one’s love and dedication to a husband or wife is a beautiful and moving gesture. If your second wedding is a celebration of renewed vows, limit your guest list to your closest friends and family. Make the event as carefree and effortless as possible.
Etiquette for Second Wedding Guests:
If you are invited to a second wedding, it is polite to bring a gift. While the use of a bridal registry is optional, every couple can use and appreciate thoughtful gifts. A gift of cash is always welcome, and second wedding etiquette dictates that the envelope is handed to a member of the family.
The rules for second wedding etiquette are not at all difficult to follow. All the couple has to do is be thoughtful of the others’ feelings and decisions in whatever part of the wedding. And as a law of second wedding etiquette, the honeymoon should be as sweet, or sweeter, than the first wedding. Hopefully the lessons learned from the first marriage will lead to more success in the second attempt.
Article kindly provided by http://www.alluniquearticles.com/
Freelancer Garnett Foards is a columnist for a variety of Internet magazines, on family video tips and family portrait topics. Don’t reprint this exact article. Instead, reprint a free unique content version of this same article.
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August 29, 2007
Wedding Etiquette – Important for a Smooth, Special Day
Wedding etiquette has been explained in a variety of books for many years, and these books are not just for snooty socialites at their sometimes gaudy weddings.
Wedding etiquette is important because this is a special occasion that brings many different people together to witness a ceremony about love, devotion and commitment.
The bride and groom know each other well because they have probably dated for a good period of time before the ceremony. The friends and family that they invite to this special occasion probably do not know each other that well.
Wedding etiquette will probably solve some of the problems that could occur in this type of gathering.
The bride and groom have not been in hundreds of weddings before, but the people who write books on wedding etiquette have usually been to thousands of weddings. They know what problems arise at the normal wedding, and they know how to solve many of them.
The experts who write the books on wedding etiquette also know that planning ahead using the tips in their wedding etiquette books will help a couple avoid many of the problems that crop up.
A conscientious bride and groom will probably consult a couple of different wedding etiquette books before their wedding day.
Wedding Etiquette Covers many Subjects
A good wedding etiquette book covers many different subjects that should make each bride and groom more comfortable at their wedding. These books start with the guest lists and the wedding invitations.
These books will give information on the important things to remember about the ceremony and the reception. The wedding etiquette books will make sure that the bride and groom have some idea about a timeline for important decisions and actions.
Wedding etiquette provides information on all aspects of a wedding ceremony and the events leading up to the special day. This information includes tips on who should be invited and where they should sit when they get there.
The etiquette is important because it will help with an organization so no one will be slighted or insulted in the course of a very hectic time. The people that write the etiquette know about deadlines, and the consequences of missing an important deadline.
Each bride and groom will put their own stamp on their wedding, but a good knowledge of etiquette will help them with their basic plans. If they follow a good etiquette book carefully, their wedding will probably be much smoother.
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