Help! He Thinks I’m Fat

When she got married she was a size 2. After their daughter was born she was a size 14. Two years later instead of losing weight she was a size 18. Instead of hitting the gym or losing the “baby fat” she hit post partum depression and threw in the towels resolving to the fact that she was just big and “he better loves me for who I am on the inside rather than the outside.” He did love her for the person she was, but his looks on her enormously large size 18 body and 40-DD chest and a g-string that turned into booty-floss that got buried under all those “loafs of bread” did not make her feel the sexiest or most attractive woman in the world. But she didn’t care anymore

Perhaps you can relate?

What is a woman to do when she feels trapped in a body that is no fun, in addition to dealing with a depression that you can’t seem to explain since giving birth to a child should be one of the most exiting undertakings of anyone’s life? Even the shoes on your rack consist mainly of slip-ons, because you’ve grown tired of getting out of breath when tying your shoes.

By this time the excuses of caring for a small child keep you away from the gym, for good seeming reason. So you resort to diets and starving yourself – the weight has to come off somehow, even though we know that 95% of all diets fail. So we fall deeper and deeper into the hole of depression and the mountain of excuses soon seems to swallow us alive.

Should you leave this dead marriage? What if you did?

And yet, life goes on – with or without you!

Here are 5 things that can help you get off to a great start to regain your health and re-ignite a new spark into your partnership:

1. Stop all excuses. Instead of focusing on all the excuses that prevent you from losing weight, start focusing on all the good things that come to you from having a sexy figure. Trust that since you have had a slim figure in the past, you will get there again in the near future. No one is asking you to lose all the weight by next week, just get started and stay consistent.

2. Know that this is not about him, this is all about you. You are in this together, yes, but losing the weight for him is superficial and will only make your weight loss temporary. You must want to lose the weight for you and you only. You are the one feeling unhealthy or unattractive and you want to feel great about yourself. Having your partner be attracted to you once again is an added bonus and benefit and can serve as a motivator, but it should not be the main reason.

3. Be gentle and agreeable with Nature. Putting your hands on your hips and refusing to lose weight because you want to “teach him a lesson” is just plain stupid. He loves you no matter what, provided he truly loves you for who you are at the core and not your looks, but the truth remains that we are ruled by Nature and men are stimulated visually, and they are just as much turned off by visuals. This is just the way Nature has designed men and women to be different, so rather than wanting to take on a fight with Nature and hurt yourself and your partner, be grateful for the certainty Mother Earth delivers each and every time. Accept these simple rules and work with Nature rather than against her and watch miracles enfold.

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